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Liberal Opinion Blog. Boston, Massachusetts. Political Democrat, Independent. Debunk Republican Lies, Misinformation

Horsing a round – with Rafalca Romney!

Are you planning to stay home, like a typical working mom -> (the Romney’s definition: busy working at home caring for the kids) to watch dressage at the 2012 London Olympics?

I shall be ROOTING for the Romney’s show horse, Rafalca, in the competition – Team and Individual – Grand Prix Special on Tuesday, 08/07/2012. 

Mitt Romney’s wife, Ann Romney, cheers her Dressage Horse at London 2012 Olympics.

There’s Individual Dressage:

  • Grand Prix – August 02-03, (Rafalca placed #30)
  • Grand Prix Special – Tuesday, August 07
  • Grand Prix Freestyle – Thursday, August 09.

And Team Dressage:

  • Grand Prix – August 02-03
  • Grand Prix Special – August 07, from 10:00AM.

If I’m correct, there are 3 Americans in Tuesday’s Individual/Team Dressage Grand Prix Special: RAFALCA ROMNEY ridden by Jan Ebeling at 10:45 London Time — CALECTO V ridden by Tina Konyot (11:25AM) — and RAVEL ridden by Steffen Peters (11:52). Britain, Germany, Netherlands, Denmark – U.S. Team is fifth.

Equestrian/dressage, like sailing, is the SPORT OF KINGS. 

The Romney’s dressage horse stepping sideways? Mitt Romney does the same thing: artfully dodge questions by stepping sideways! That horse has been part of the Romney household, what do you expect it to do? Come now…

It’s OK to step sideways and avoid releasing your taxes…if you’re a horse, but if you’re not? Anyway…

Dressage is a French term that loosely translated means: Training. In dressage “movements” include terms like:

PIAFFE

A calm, composed, elevated trot in place.

As in: Mitt Romney’s entrance in the republican primaries can only be described as a piaffe….

PASSAGE

A very collected trot, in which the horse has great elevation of stride and seems to pause between putting down its feet.

eg: Newt Gingrich is trying to knock Romney out of these republican primaries but Romney’s passage seems assured!

Mitt Romney, wife Ann and Rafalca…

EXTENDED GAITS 

The horse lengthens its stride to the maximum length through great forward thrust and reach.

eg: Rick Santorum may be the Tea Party favorite but it will be difficult for him to match Romney’s extended gait due to Romney’s huge fundraising advantage.

FLYING CHANGES IN SEQUENCE

The horse changes leads at the canter every stride, two strides, or three strides.

As in shifting from conservative to moderate to extreme right. eg: Romney has made a flying change from his original position as governor of Massachusetts where he championed a UNIVERSAL Health Care Reform law with a MANDATE but is now bashing the federal health care mandate!

PIROUETTE

A 360 or 180 degree turn in place, usually performed at the canter.

As in suddenly changing positions on major issues like abortion, gay rights and immigration reform. eg: Romney made a brilliant pirouette at a recent campaign event when he appeared before Latino voters and said he favors a Republican version of the Dream Act!

HALF-PASS 

A movement where the horse goes on a diagonal, moving sideways and forward at the same time, while bent slightly in the direction of movement.

eg: Romney went forward today by releasing his taxes but side-stepped the issue of FULL disclosure by only releasing ONE year.

Dressage is well suited indeed to Mitt Romney, who, by the way, told NBC he does NOT even know when his wife’s horse is taking part in the competition. As a matter of face, I’m sure Romney is not sure IF the horse is even in London!!!

Depending on your income, it’s hard to say “dressage” with a straight face. Seriously. In Polo, they’re crashing into each other and people are falling off their horses. If somebody falls off a horse in dressage, that rider should be ashamed forever!

Dressage is one of those rich people’s sports that most of us will never play.

Tennis? Tennis courts everywhere. Grab a racket, heck grab a piece of plywood or cardboard and make a racket go hit a ball. You may never be Roger Federer but so what?

Even Skiing. Hitch a ride, hit a ski resort, offer to wash dishes in the kitchen…on your free time hit the slopes. Or just stare up at it longingly…

Sailing? Same. Offer to swab the decks for free…

Golf? Offer to caddy for free…

Polo? Offer to muck horse stalls for free riding lessons?

Dressage? No money? Nothing you can do unless you steal a horse, already have offered to muck stalls and gotten some free riding lessons somewhere, THEN find a trainer. Oh and you can’t bunk the horse in your apartment…and feeding it Chick fil-A is not a good idea either. If you’re planning to send your kids to dressage after school, can my son tag along? 

Here are some of the people who are taking part in the Equestrian competitions!

  • The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia
  • Royalty from Britain
  • And Royalty from America – the Romneys!

I am prepared to spontaneously break into a rendition of “God Bless America for Rafalca. If Chick fil-A Appreciation Day can inspire patriotism then so can Rafalca! So what if he’s German! I did not call her an immigrant and she’s here legally.

Do you know what makes America Great? Dressage. NOT as you believed stimulus plans – waste of money. NOT Health Care Reform – equal waste of money. Building our Infrastructure? NO, No, no!!! The government should assemble a team of Dressage horses led by Rafalca and invite them to Washington to argue for:

  • $2-thousand-dollar annual premiums on health care for ALL horses (which is what the Romney’s spent on their horse’s health care for 2010). For PEOPLE, no!
  • Increasing the Child Tax Credit from the $1-thousand you can now claim per child – to $77-thousand (the amount the Romneys deducted for their horse in 2010)

So yes, I AM rooting for Rafalca…

Wait. Don’t give up on me! Whom do you want me to root for? What’s Rafalca ever done to YOU?

  • Rafalca did not say: “I saw my father march with Martin Luther King.” Romney said that. His campaign later admitted that Romney’s father and Dr. King didn’t march on the same day…or even in the same city. But so what? Romney’s dad marched over there, Dr. King marched over here – conjugated it means: I march, you march – WE march, right?!
  • Rafalca did not say: “He (meaning President Obama) says we need more firemen, more policemen, more teachers. Did he not get the message of Wisconsin? The American people did. It’s time for us to cut back on government and help the American people.” Romney said that! Er, Governor Romney, MORE firemen, police and teachers do help…aw, forget it!
  • Rafalca did not say: “I love this state, the trees are the right height!” Romney said that. Rafalca would have gone a step further and TOLD us WHAT the right height for trees are these days – NOT left us to guess!
  • Rafalca did say: “I’ll tell you what, ten-thousand bucks? $10,000 bet?” Nope, 
    Romney said THAT. Rafalca would have said “$77-thousand bucks? $77-thousand bet”.

Nope. Can’t blame Rafalca…even though he IS an elitist horse.

Rafalca

So Go Raffie! Don’t let your owners down now ’cause they need the prize money!!! (er, is there money?) Well they can always invest the gold (medal) in Switzerland. Please DON’T tell Rafalca WHERE  to keep its gold medal or ask to see bank vault receipts…

Rafalca, there is a nice bag of oats waiting for you at home. Forgive me if I offend a horse of your caliber by offering oats, but I have NO idea what top-class horses like you eat. Maybe oats are for nags? Maybe YOU eat GRAVIAR – a mixture of specially pulped grain and caviar that your own personal chef prepares for you!?

Why the heck not? YOU Rafalca are to dressage what Tiger Woods is to golf.  I’m watching, aren’t I? I watch golf too and still can’t explain a birdie!

 

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